Saludos, my dahlings, and you know who you are!
C'mon, let's mingle
So nice to see you
Throw your hips into the air
Like Syd Charisse and Fred Astaire
Let's crazy romance!

Just looking into your eyes, dahling
I can tell that you have the legs of a dancer
So bring those legs, and the rest of your body, over here
And be 'Nando's private prancer!

Dahling, I've got to tell you something
And I don't say this to everybody
You look mahvelous. Absolutely mahvelous! (Mahvelous!)

You know, my father used to say to me, " 'Nando, don't be a schnook.
It's not how you feel, it's how. You. Look!"
He was mahvelous!
But you, dahling, hmmmm, you look mahvelous!
Absolutely mahvelous!

And this is from my tongue which is deep inside my body
It's better to look good than to feel good.

(Fernando.)
Dahlings?
(Who's mahvelous?)
Try me!
(Cyndi Lauper?)
Mahvelous!
(Tina Turner?)
Still mahvelous!
(Jayne Meadows?)
She's mahvelous!
(Grace Jones?)
Humongous!
(Cher?)
Mahvelous!
(Shankar?)
Mahvelous!
(Vanity?)
Mahvelous!
(Apollonia?)
Ditto
(Madonna?)
Her belly button is absolutely mahvelous!

I'm about to lose control - and I think I like it!
Oh, look, there's Sting, looking for his last name at the dip!
I am what love is all about!
I've got American teeth and a Spanish mouth...
Please ... hold me while I tango!
So, my dear, it's been a blast.
You were not my first, you won't be my last. Ciao!

I've got to mambo!
Nothing lasts forever, dahling
But it's not the end of the world.
When I was fired by Paramount
There was still MGM (MGM!)

I love you young people today.
With your rock and roll
Like that Eddie Van Heflen (Van Halen!)
Whatever!

When I look into your eyes, dahling,
I see the reflection of me!
Look at me dancing around in there!
I look mahvelous! Absolutely mahvelous! (Wonderful! Mahvelous!)

You know dahling, I love dancing.
Dancing to me is like standing still.
Only faster... you know what I'm saying to you? (Mahvelous! Wonderful!)

My dear, do you understand the term 'Full grown midget?'
Must be me. (Wonderful! Mahvelous!)

There are eight million stories in the naked city, dahling
Let's me two of them.
I'm kidding you. I'm a kidder!
Let's you and I go back to my private hideaway.
You'll put on soft music.
I'll put on my Spider-Man pyjamas.
And we'll do things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway! (Mahvelous! Wonderful!)
Dahling, I'm worried about the Cabbage Patch kids.
I mean, when they grow up, will they be confused that these people are not their real parents?

[fade]

If a train is leaving Chicago at 11:00am in the morning with five thousand pounds of bluefish
And another train is leaving Phoenix at exactly the same time...
And Bert Convy is still hosting 'Tattletales'.